When I was growing up, I always looked forward with great anticipation to Christmas. But as the bible tells us, "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things, 1Cor 13:11". I still look forward with great anticipation, but now with a true understanding to CHRISTmas.
I remember the fascination of Christmas in Wallins Creek when I was a small boy. Today, like for so many people, when I see the classic movie, "The Christmas Story", it takes me back to my childhood. You remember, it's the one with the little boy who wants a Red Ryder BB gun. His mom says no because he will shoot his eye out.
When the boy finally musters up the courage to crawl up on Santa's lap and tell him he wants the BB gun, Santa tells him, "You'll shoot your eye out, kid." I can really relate to that. My Mom would tell me things like that. I would always try to work on her so that she would know what I wanted. You never knew when she got the message. You also never knew for sure what you were getting unless you were able to scope it out ahead of time. This was very risky. If you got caught looking for presents, there were serious consequences.
I really believed in Santa Claus. That was when Christmas had the most magic. That is when it seemed that all was right with the world. I think when a child finds out differently, it is the first reality that hits their whole belief system. I remember when I found out. It was so traumatic that I still remember where I was. Pearl Ed Hensley told me the devastating news when we were playing in the field next to the Herrell's house on Back Street. It's almost like, "where were you when you heard the news that President Kennedy had been shot." It was such a crushing blow to me. I couldn't believe it. I immediately asked Mrs. Herrell if it was true. She told me to ask my Mom. She was very wise.
I remember one Christmas in particular after I found out the crushing truth. Mom sent me to bed, "So that Santa Claus could come." Instead of going to sleep as I always had, I pretended to be asleep. I peeped through a crack in the door to watch Mom and my Uncle Norman Morgan place my gifts under the tree. Even though I had been told that there was no Santa, this drove the reality home to me.
Another thing that really disturbed me when I found out, was "who ate all the cookies and cokes that I had left out for him?" I also had left Santa a lot of notes that he had replied to. I was so thrilled to get the return notes. My imagination ran wild with the thought that he knew me personally. I had also sent quite a few letters to the North Pole. The reality set in when I discovered that I had been had, plain and clear ... but the magic of Christmas always stuck with me.
When I was really small, there seemed to be enough money to provide a nice Christmas. This was generally when my grandpa was still alive. But later we did not have the money to spend on a lot of gifts. Little boys do not always understand this. I remember in the early years there was a train set. I loved that train. It was probably an expensive gift even for those times.
Another gift that had special meaning for me was a bike. It was a lot like the one that was stolen from Pee Wee in "Pee Wee's Big Adventure." The irony was that someone stole my bike too. I can't remember all the details about, but do remember how frustrated I was. I looked everywhere for it. No one knew anything. I felt hopeless and helpless. It wasn't like I could make a police report or anything like that. No one was there to help me recover the bike.
As I got older, the Christmas gifts were hard to come by. There wasn't a whole lot under the tree. I told my mom that it was okay, but inside it hurt a lot. This was especially evident when I saw the presents that my friends got. I understood that times were hard for us and that Mom did the best she could. Not having a dad impacted Christmas also. There was no man around to know the things that men and boys take for granted. Once Mom got me a bat and a baseball glove. Only one problem, the glove was for a left hander. I don't recall why we could not exchange it. I felt pretty silly playing with a glove on my right hand. I had to catch the ball, and then remove the glove to throw with my right hand.
I loved the magic of our Christmas lights and ornaments. We used them year after year unless we accidentally broke them. I really liked the bubble lights. There was no such thing as an artificial tree, as far as I knew at least. I had never seen one. I loved to smell the tree. It is a smell that I still associate with Christmas. We mostly had cedar rather than pine.
Christmas always meant church plays. I can remember being a shepherd in one. I had a little trouble finding a proper staff. A bathrobe and towel around the head completed the costume. I remember that the church congregation always seemed to truly enjoy these plays. No Christmas spirit could be properly felt unless one first saw the annual Christmas play.
The Christmas caroling was also something that I looked forward to. We would go around to houses to spread the cheer. Church music was also an integral part of instilling the Christmas spirit. We sang a lot of carols in church before and up to this wonderful celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Oh, I still believe in the magic of Santa, but I long for those days when I believed he was bigger than life.
